new conspiracy theory

Recently, Rachel Maddow interviewed the authors of the wildly successful Left Behind books. There apparently has been some concern among Evangelicals that Obama is the Antichrist. These guys put an end to that by stating that the Antichrist only comes after the Rapture, and since that clearly hasn’t happened, logically then, our president can’t be the Antichrist.

But I think they missed something. According to Jerry Falwell, the Antichrist is well known to be a Jewish male. Indeed, Al Franken’s theory is that Barry Manilow is really the Antichrist. Which got me thinking; what if the Left Behind guys are all wrong? What if Obama really is the Antichrist? But he’s not Jewish, right?

Well, maybe he is. Remember all those canards about how he’s a secret Muslim? How he’s also a member of an anti-White Christian church? Maybe these were all smokescreens. Let’s face it: a lot of Obama’s best friends are members of the tribe. He lived across the street from a synagogue. Michelle has a relative who is a rabbi. “Barack” might really be a cover for “Baruch.”

So by the transitive property of religions, Obama is a secret Jew. And therefore could qualify as the Antichrist, since the Antichrist has to be Jewish. Ergo, Obama is the Antichrist. QED.

Thank goodness I don’t believe in this endtimes stuff. Or else things could get really scary. Just like what’s posited in all these Left Behind books the Christian right seem to buy in droves.

And I’m just kidding about all this anyway. Isn’t it obvious Barry Manilow really is the Antichrist?